7 ways to scheme for cookies.

No matter where you go in life, even if it's to culinary school, you can count on three things: one, you will not have as much food as you had at your mom's house. Two, you will end up eating some pretty weird things. Three, the cookies will never be as good as mom's. Cookies are worth scheming for.


1. At first, try subtle hints. Don't reduce yourself to groveling till you have to, but keep the option open.

2. Whine. You'd be surprised how well this works when you're not living in her house anymore.

3. Get one of your siblings to mail them to you. If you have all brother however, you're out of luck. I'm sorry.

4. If subtle hints, whining, and mild sneakiness all fail, it's time to begine scheming. You may want to have a photo of yourself such as the attached.This photo can be used in multiple ways if you're not above giving your mom a guilt trip.



5. Send it to your mom, along with a peanut butter saltine pickle ketchup sandwich and offer to trade for a cookie, since these are obviously what you've been living off of for weeks. Don't forget to photoshop so that you look pale, and the sign looks much bigger and brighter than your starving face.

6. Post it on facebook so that all your mother's friends can tell her how horrified they are that her baby is starving. (You might also cash in on extra cookies from other horrified mothers if you tag it to the ones with daughters going to college in a year or two.)

7. If nothing else works though, just send it to your mom along with a note attached saying that Anjolina Jolie wants to adopt you.